Last night I decided to take advantage of the nice weather and go to Busch Gardens when I got off work and see Kinetix. We arrived at 8:30 and went to see Emerald Beat first then proceeded to Italy to get my favorite meal there, the cannelloni.
I am a people watcher. I can not help it. I watch what they wear , what they look like and who they are with. Last night I saw at least three couples in which the women were every bit as big as I am with handsome husbands and boyfriends. At that point my people watching thoughts turn to me. What about me ? Why can't I find someone to share my life with? How come those men don't care? The never ending questions.
Lately those questions have been in my head alot. I think I have to be skinny to be worthy of anyone and I know deep down that I am wrong but I still allow these thoughts to permeate my self image. I keep saying I will get out there more and be more outgoing and social when I am skinny. Why should I wait until then? I am worthy of a great husband and a good man will like me for what and who I am not for my outward appearances. I am a Woman of God and strive to be all God wants me to be.
Please Lord, help me to maintain this attitude when my nature is to bring myself down. You know the desires of my heart and I hope to remain confident as you prepare him for me and me for him. I also pray Lord that you will help me to strive to be the healthy ( not skinny) individual I so long to want to be as to be a positive reflection of your love, amen.
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